Male or Female?

[Tarzan]

Male or Female?    
You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female.  Here are some examples:  

FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.
       
PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again.
         They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons.
       
TIRES: Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated
       
HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.
       
SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.
       
WEB PAGES:  Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.
       
TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.
       
EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.
       
HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.
       
THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female.
Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying