Are you living with a passive aggresive person?

[Cat]

Hi! in the next few weeks I will be posting research on what is a passive agressive person, it will be male oriented as it's more common in men.
I hope that some of you will identify and relate to this research, may it help some of you find peace and understanding with this type of personality.
Women tell about a number of patterns which tends to pop up in their descriptions of relationships with boyfriends, husbands, fathers or bosses.

There always seems to be a stuggle involved, whether it is about intimacy, respect, success at work or even something as simple as ordering a meal from a waiter. Women tell me "If I let the man know what I want, then he just makes it harder for me to get."

The frustrating and maddening behaviour they talk about has actually a method to it, and a name: PASSIVE AGRESSION--and passive agressive behaviour is what drives women "crazy".

To start, here is an example: (Fictitious Names) Mark and Lisa have been living together for a year, but lately Mark has been playing the "accidental lover" too often. He'll take his clothes off and lie back, giving Lisa a look that indicates he wants sex. But she's never quite sure; Mark will neither resist her advances nor show much enthusiasm. Even while having sex, Lisa's not sure if he cares about pleasing either one of them, or of being intimate. Ask him what he wants and he'll say "You know..." Ask Mark if he was satisfied and he may answer by turning away from Lisa, garbling a comment,  stopping her dead from asking again, or countering with a remark such as, "You always need compliments..."  :roll:
Afterglow turns into Aftershock!
More on the passive aggresive and ways to live with them or ways to walk away. See you next time!

Cat

[JohnnyBoy]

Hmmm..  Sad story my dear.  :?   I wonder why you put up or settle with that type of behavior?  I'd say it's resolvable as the person you mention does not seem to have an impassible wall up, but rather is a victim of low social status in which he cannot escape without help and attention.  We are all products of our peer relationships and this guy could stand to learn as few things such as:

(1) That it's quite ok to show emotional need.
(2) Women are attracted to and expect men to show sexual interest and that in doing so,  the woman will likely reciprocate in a very pleasing way. Now that's something that men DO enjoy..  :wink:
(3) That allowing his lover to gain sexual confidence is safe for him.

I'd say..  Don't argue, feel bad or otherwise be affected by his negative behavior.  Rather see it as a great challenge in helping him to be a better and more confident person.  Can you read what he's trying to tell you through his aggression?  If you can't, perhaps try asking your friends for their unbiased opinions?   Lastly..  Try to illustrate that it's ok to show human emotion at every opportunity..  Both to him.. and to others in your presence so that he is exposed to it.  And when he does show emotion and confidence..  reward it immediately in an appropriate way that makes him feel emotionally secure.  I hope this helps.

JohnnyBoy!